Making Lemonade

My wife’s grandfather is turning 98 years old in a month or so. Having lost his wife a couple of years ago, Papa, believe it or not, still lives at home by himself.

On a recent visit to Papa we sat, as usual, in his family room talking about a lot of things, like the way things used to be and, for obvious reasons, our concern for his health. During our conversation Papa told me in a matter-of-fact tone of voice that he had suffered a heart attack a couple of weeks earlier. Shocked by the news, I asked if he had seen a doctor or spent time in the hospital following that ordeal. Papa responded by saying “Oh yes, one night. My legs feel numb but I’m getting better.” Pressing for more information, he added, “… when I had the heart attack I was afraid I was going to die – however, a moment later, I became afraid I wasn’t going to die.” Saddened as we both were by his news, this announcement caused us to laugh at the ordeal. Laughing seemed to help us shed some discomfort with this conversation.

We both realized, I think, that his response to this crisis — sharing a laugh with someone else — was the way we often respond to threatening situations in life.

In my youth, my parents made sure that I acknowledged my elders whenever possible. As uncomfortable as it was at the time, my greeting others and making them feel welcome was a part of my parents’ routine in training each of their children to show respect and appreciation for others. And so, with each new acquaintance in my life, there came the challenge of making my introduction.

The challenge of teaching my own children social etiquette is also a big job. While our daughter, the oldest, is quick to make new acquaintances, Matthew, our one in the middle, would rather crawl into a hole and hide than face the uncomfortable task of meeting new people. While he’s learning to persevere in social environments, he’s also learning to face difficult situations that he’ll likely look back on one day and laugh about with his dad or granddad.

Often, we judge both situations and people indiscriminately because of mannerisms we have adopted during our life. These so-called habits unfortunately create barriers that often become missed opportunities to make new friendships or business alliances.
In my opinion, obstacles that prevent us from taking the opportunity to meet new people and make new friendships are tragic, because experience has shown me that relationships not only teach us a great deal about ourselves, they also give us someone to laugh with when times are tough.
Enjoy!


Bent Mikkelsen, Publisher